One Year Sober
by seaofhopes
Summary: One-Shot It's the one year anniversary since Sam decided to get her life together. One year. It's amazing how much can change in such little time. Yet, there's one thing Sam still isn't able to overcome: her feelings for Dylan. She decides to perform a cleansing ritual. In true Sam style it wouldn't be complete without her best friend by her side.


_One year._ How quickly time goes buy when you have people by your side keeping you accountable. The first few months of sobriety were hard. Every time life took a turn for the worse she had to talk herself down from the edge. It seemed like a bottle of alcohol was only a few feet away every time shit hit the fan. It was hard, controlling the urges. She could taste the liquor on her tongue without having to open the bottle. The liquid called her name, begged for her to come closer. It was in those moments that Eddie always dug her out of the hole. It's like he had telepathy and knew when she was in an emotional crisis.

She was thankful for him. In truth her one year sobriety was a large part thanks to him… _and_ Monica… _and_ Berto… _and_ Syd. They were only a call away when she felt weak and in need of a drink.

There were two anniversaries that occurred within hours of each other. _Today_ was the anniversary of the night Samantha Swift had climbed through Dylan's window, thrown his clothes onto the front lawn, and set it on fire. _Tomorrow_ would be the anniversary of her sobriety. It seemed appropriate that she celebrate both. In celebration of "drunk and disorderly Sam" the actress decided to marathon Legend of the Lost Idol while wearing the necklace Dylan had bought her which donned his initial. After several hours of watching her ex-fiancé lose and find and then lose the idol again she decided to end the night with a ritual she'd learned in rehab.

Well, not exactly _in_ rehab, more like _at_ rehab. She was taught it by another patient there, not by the actual staff. Carrying a bottle of tequila, old photographs, and the gold medallion, Samantha wobbled to her backyard. Sam placed the items a few inches away from the fire pit. _Matches, I forgot the matches._ With a loud groan Samantha ran back into her house. She opened every cabinet in her kitchen but couldn't find the matches. "Where did I put them?" She was sure she'd bought some for this very purpose.

She ran across the wooden floors, her bare feet pitter-pattering with every step. Her loose top-knot wobbled every time she craned her neck side to side to get a better view of what was inside her drawers. "Where are they?" Sam plopped onto the floor and let out a huff. A few strands of hair fell against her forehead and she blew them away. Sliding her hands completely through the arm wholes of her grey henley she smushed the stretchy cuffs in her fists.

"Hmmm make shift matches? I can burn a napkin and then toss it into the fire pit!" _I'm a genius…or I'm one decision away from committing arson._ She decided to continue looking for the matches. Her almost manic spree around the kitchen was ended abruptly by a loud knock at her door. Grabbing her phone off the granite countertop she checked the time. **2:05 A.M.** "It's two in the morning? Who the hell is awake at two in the morning?" _Well, other than me._

The knocking on the door grew louder and more incessant the closet she got. "I'm coming." Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear she twisted the gold knob and cracked the door open a few inches. "Hey, what are you doing here? It's late."

"Aren't we celebrating?" Eddie lifted up a bottle of sparkling cider. Without waiting for an invitation he pushed the door open with his free hand.

"Make yourself at home?" Sam watched the man do exactly that. He placed the green bottle down on the coffee table and slid his denim jacket off in one swift motion. He tossed the jacket onto the love seat and retrieved the bottle from where it stood. Within a few seconds he was in the kitchen scouring her cabinets for wine glasses. "They're in the cabinets above the sink" Sam pointed to there locations while pushing the front door shut. "Did you find them?"

Eddie didn't answer. A pair of glasses were placed on the granite countertop and now the man had his back turned to her once more. _Bottle opener._ Sam couldn't help but laugh. Shaking her head she made her way to one of the drawers and pulled out the silver opener. "Here you go."

Eddie turned to face her and caught a glimpse of the open back door. "Were you in the middle of something?" Retrieving the bottle opener he began to pop the metal lid.

"Yeah. Sort of." She picked up a glass and handed it to her best friend. "A cleansing ritual." _Ritual?_ It made her actions sound religious. What she was attempting to do was a lot less methodical and a lot more gritty. All she wanted to do was burn stuff and release her past. "It's something I learned at rehab."

Eddie filled up the last glass and handed it to his partner. "Do you need me to leave? I don't want to interrupt the night you've got going."

"No, I'm actually glad you're here. I was five minutes away from burning my house down." Sam took a sip and almost spit out the cider once she saw the look of confusion that formed across the investigators face. "No, I'm not looking to commit arson… _again._ I just can't find any matches and I need to light my fire pit." Sam retrieved the green bottle and poured more into her glass.

He nodded and tried to understand the actress' actions. Sticking his left hand into the pocket of his jeans he began searching for his lighter. Once his fingers wrapped themselves around the plastic container he tossed it gently onto the counter. "I think I can help you with the fire part of your ritual."

Sam let out a squeal and quickly retrieved the lighter. Wrapping her arms around the cider bottle and sticking the lighter in her pocket she ran through the back door and sat in front of the pit. Eddie was only a few feet behind her. By now he was so used to her ridiculous stints that he didn't even skip a beat. "What exactly are you going to burn?"

It took several attempts before the lighter finally sparked a flame. The kindling began to crackle and sparks of orange began to flicker across the woman's olive face. "A bottle of my favorite tequila, some pictures, and _this_." She lifted up a gold necklace and ran her thumb across its engraving.

"Is that…?" For a moment a feeling of panic filled his senses. She was getting rid of the gift he'd gotten her for her 29th birthday. It was the same color, the pendant was the exact same shape and size. He was a part of the past that she wanted to get rid of.

"It's an old gift. I thought it was time for me to let it go." Sam shrugged and handed Eddie the necklace.

The gold pendant bounced along the delicate gold chain. It's circular shape flipped back and forth making it hard for him to read the engraving. Placing the necklace on the palm of his hand he inspected the piece. A sense of relief consumed him as he saw that in the middle of the necklace was an uppercase D _not_ the date of her first night in rehab. "D? I'm guessing this is the necklace Dylan gave you?"

"Yeah. After everything that happened with him…" Her voice drifted off and her eyes focused intently on the flicker of the fire. This was a lame attempt at finally getting rid of Dylan. Sam's fingers reached up to her neck and she began twirling the dainty necklace around her index finger. It was a silly habit she'd adopted. Now that she couldn't drink, twirling or tugging on her necklace brought her a faint amount of calm. "…the sex tape and him telling me he still loved me. I just need a clean start. I need a life that's completely free from him."

Eddie nodded in agreement and slid himself closer to her. His fingers danced across the many photos Sam was ready burn. They were pictures of her and Dylan smiling, beaming with happiness. It was them on vacation, at the beach, eating dinner, hiking. It was a record of all the adventures they'd had together.

"I'm ready." Sam looked over at him and stretched out her arm. Taking the photos from him she inspected each image one last time before tossing them into the flame. The corners of the images curled up before being consumed by a deep black and finally crumbling into ash. "That was oddly satisfying." Next came the necklace. A soft hum escaped from her lips as she debated whether or not to get rid of it. "Will it even melt?"

"I don't know. You have to toss it in to find out."

"Okay." Sam rolled her shoulders back and held the necklace up over the flame. Her brain told her it was time, but her body didn't listen. "I'm ready." _Let go…you need to let go…_

He could sense her hesitation, "It's okay if you still want to hold on to it." A part of him was bitter that Sam was having a hard time getting rid of the gift her ex-fiancé had given meant that she still loved him. That she still held out hope for a future with him.

"No." The actress shook her head and reached for the necklace that clung around her neck. "I have this now. It means more to me than Dylan's gift ever did." She smiled at her partner. Her fingers ran across the engraving. The six numbers separated by two periods held more power than the stupid initial on Dylan's necklace. **03.13.17.** It was the day she'd first set foot in the rehab facility. It was the day her life had completely changed for the better.

Without even thinking about it Sam tossed the old necklace into the fire. "Goodbye Dylan." And to pay respect to her failed relationship Sam opened the bottle of tequila and emptied it into the dirt. "Here's to a brand new me."


End file.
